As some of you may know, I am divorced. I was married extremely young and foolish, and though the pain and regret of a failed marriage is something you learn to adapt to, I can look back and see that I was blessed to be given many things despite the demise of my union. Naturally, my daughter is the most important of these gifts, but also important are the lessons learned that I hold close to my heart now. Within these aching lessons is the appreciation of “forever” and the attained reverence of just how long for ever is. And though I learned this lesson too late to save a marriage that should have never been attempted in the first place, its truth now rests deep in my soul.

If you’d like, I can spit statistics at you on how marriage is a dying institution and no one seems to take it seriously anymore—but we both know it wouldn’t do a bit of good. It isn’t the fault of our culture or the fault of our generation. It isn’t the fault of our churches, and it isn’t the fault of our parents. The fact that marriages don’t seem to last like they used to is tangible and something to be revered, because it is truth. The truth is that these days, we are more likely to be separated and divorced than we are to stay together. But why is that? What root cause is bleeding our marriages to the point of extinction? And how can we stop it?

Mostly, I write this to those who are in serious relationships and are considering marriage or one day want to be married. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not here to rail against marriage and all that it stands for. Marriage is a beautifully holy thing that should be respected and entered in to with many hours of prayer and consideration. So yes, I support and honor the sanctity of marriage, but only if both parties understand that they are giving themselves to one another for the rest of eternity. Often times, the gravity of this situation is not so easily grasped by those involved. Today, an attitude of“let’s take it for a spin and if it doesn’t work out, we can go our separate ways” seems to have become the norm. No, sweet souls…no. I made that mistake and I’ve paid the cost of that whimsical thinking. It doesn’t end well for anyone involved. Understanding that “’til death do we part” is exactly what it says, and committing to that idea, is a forthright act that should be revered and entered in to with the gravity of all life-changing decisions—because it is just that. We are committing to sharing every intimate detail and experience of our life with this other person. That decision cannot be a flippant one. The weighted responsibility of such a choice is what should keep us grounded in respectful admiration.

Divorce is a painful thing. My ex-wife and I can both tell you that and, although she has found her prince charming and now lives a happily married life, those scars of failure and pain are not always so easily hidden. They take time, and they take explanations of whom, how and why. Those aren’t easy conversations to have, nor are they easily bypassed and tossed away. They take patience and understanding, for they are brutally honest and heavily weighed in truth.

So no, I’m not against marriage, but I do hate divorce. If you’re considering taking that lovely plunge someday, please take the time to pray about it and consider what a life-altering decision it is. It takes a brave soul to admit when they’re wrong or when they’ve made a mistake, but it takes a truly righteous maturity to know and understand that forever is indeed, forever.

(Note: You can follow me on Twitter @Cory_Copeland. Thank you for reading. It honestly means the world to me.)