Have you ever had one of those relationships that was just…difficult? One of those pacts where, no matter what you did or how hard you tried, a fight was always started and all hell broke loose for a good while? We probably all have (If not, you’re a blessed little unicorn and the rest of us hate you). But if you think about it, a relationship between two people—one that works anyway—is a balancing act for the ages. Not only do you have to meet this person when you’re both available (don’t be cheating, you harlots!), but you both have to find the other somewhat attractive AND find some similarities of taste in things like music, movies, food, and which Jonas brother you like the best (Team Nick, y’all). So to create a relationship from nothing but the chance meeting of two random souls is something that cannot and should not be discounted. Finding that person who seems to fit you so perfectly is a wonderful thing—a thing that can set your spirit free while taking the breath right from your chest.

But do you know which realization is one of the worst? We finally find this lovely partner in crime who fits us just right only to realize—oh, no!—they don’t share our beliefs. Ain’t that just a kick in the head (Shout out to Dean Martin)? They are absolutely PERFECT for us and we have so much fun together, but either they’re of a different religious sect, or they just aren’t a Christian at all. And, right from the start, we’re behind the danged 8 ball. So what do we do? If you’re anything like me, you’ve tried the ol’ “Flirt to Convert” campaign where you go ahead and date them while hoping against hope that you can convert them to your ways of belief and faith. In my experience, it rarely works, and feelings end up getting hurt, which just leads to more fights, which, in turn, leads to more things being thrown, which just leads to me having a knot on my head.

In all honesty, relationships—those righteously wonderful ones that awaken the soul, those that last—are hard work all by themselves. So if we choose to add the stress of differing opinions on things such as God, salvation and eternity, things that actually matter, then that has the increased chance of causing fractures in our union. I am in no way saying two people with different beliefs can’t last. They can. I’ve seen it, and, though it can be filled with tension at times, it’s a beautiful thing. My point is this: dating is the process of finding a mate, yes? So if we’re searching for a partner to spend the rest of our lives with and we already have all of these other things we have to line up just so, what sense does it make to add the additional stress of religious discord? Not very much. It doesn’t matter if you’re a Christian or an Agnostic or even an Atheist, when you’re constantly arguing and battling someone over what you believe versus what they believe, it will wear on both of you alike, and that, in turn, weakens the relationship.

This can very easily be read as a “Stick to your own kind!” type of message but if you’ve read anything I’ve written, you know that isn’t my way. The acceptance and love of others is what makes this world turn. Yes, you can date outside of your own belief, and yes, it can last forever… but it won’t be easy. If you’re currently in a relationship of differing beliefs or are considering entering in to such a union, just pray about it. God will never steer you wrong and He may even have you in that person’s life to deliver salvation. Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past Him. And though He reveals truth to us for a specific purpose, making our strained relationship last beyond its expiration date may not be it. It’s up to us to pursue the opposite sex with responsibility and maturity. Choosing a like-minded someone in the first place is a step in that right direction.

(Note: Follow me on Twitter @Cory_Copeland. Thank you so very much for reading. It means everything to me.)