Firstly, I want to thank all of those who sent in questions for this week’s mailbag. I’m going to try to do these every other week until y’all get sick of them, so if you have questions on relationship, God, life, love…anything, I’ll do my best to answer them. I don’t have all the answers, but I’ve experienced enough to give a small measure of guidance.

If you’d like to submit a question(s), send them to Questions@MadtoLove.com. I’ll try to answer each question, regardless if they make the post or not.

As always, these are real questions from actual readers. Enjoy:

Q. What are your thoughts on online dating?
-Rachel

A. Isn’t pretty much everything online dating at this point? With dating sites, Facebook, Twitter, and MySpace (LOLjk) berating us at all turns, it’s hard not to at least conduct some of your relationship on an online forum. Heck, I met my current girlfriend through this very blog (desperate much, Kayla? GEEZ!). As far as specific dating sites, I say go for it. Some consider online dating as something less than genuine, but I can see the stigma of meeting on the internet slowly dissipating. We’re able to meet people in other states much easier these days and that’s a good thing. So if you’re comfortable with it, go for it!

Q. Do you have any tips on getting out of the “friend zone”?
-Morgan

A. I got at least four questions about being in/getting out of the “friend zone”, so I’m going to dedicate an entire post to it next week. Stay tuned. That or just watch the ADORABLE Ryan Reynolds in the hilarious romcom, “Just Friends”. It’ll jiggle your giggle box (I’m sorry I even typed that…).

Q. Is it wrong for me to date a guy who isn’t necessarily a Christian even though I know I won’t marry him? Is it wrong to not date someone unless they love the Lord if I’m just “young and having fun”?
-Nathalie

A. Dating used to be a precursor to marriage. Now? I don’t know what the fruitcake is going on.  However, I do know that if you’re dating “just for fun”, someone (either you or them) is likely to get hurt. So be cautious and make sure you’re both on the same page. There’s no need for a heart to get broken if it can be helped.

Q. My longtime boyfriend and I took a break around our one year anniversary. During this time, he lost his virginity to a girl he only knew for three weeks (I’m a Christian and still a virgin). We’re back together now, but my question is how can I forgive him and let it go completely?   He says he regrets it and wishes he had waited for me. We have talked about marriage, so I want to put this in the past. Thoughts?

A. Hurt happens in every relationship. I realize that you two are dealing with something fairly “heavy”, but whether the pain is big or small, forgiveness is needed. Do you actually want to forgive him? If so, it will take time, and you’ll need to pray about it…but time really does heal all wounds. If he “messes up” again, then it wasn’t a mistake, and he probably doesn’t respect you. The truth is, if you want to be in the relationship and work things out, you have that option. It’s your choice. If you truly believe he’s sorry, work on forgiving and building up your trust in him. It won’t be easy, of course, but it is possible.

Q. I hear people talk about one ideally entering a relationship if they have everything figured out, if they are a “whole and healthy person”. But I don’t see what use a relationship is if one is whole and healthy and has it all figured out. Isn’t loneliness a response to the need in all of us to depend on and be with another person?
-Mandy

A. I wrote about this subject sometime back, so I’ll post the link and just say this: when we allow ourselves to enter into a new relationship while we are still broken or hurting from the past one(s), then that brokenness has the tendency to weigh our new relationship down. It’s better to be healed of all past pain before starting something fresh. Read my full thought on the subject here.

Q. Everyone has a time of singleness. Is it bad to think of the future during that time, or should you stay solely focused on making the most of your time single?Other blogs I’ve read have given me mixed opinions. What’s your take?
-Ashley

A. It’s my opinion that it’s not necessarily a bad thing to aim your thoughts toward a relationship while single; just don’t obsess over it. Really, it’s relative to the individual. Some enjoy being single (pArTy PeOpLe!!) and focus solely on that; others want—or even need—to be in a relationship, so that’s where their focus is. The heart wants what the heart wants (and the heart WANTS CHOCOLATE DANGIT!)

That’ll do it for this week’s mailbag. Agree? Disagree? Let me know by leaving a comment. And remember: if I’m wrong, that’s what you get for listening to a guy who once burned his underwear in an Illinois oil field (true story).

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