There is a place—a treacherous place—where the soul is sucked dry and the will to live is exhausted beyond comprehension. I’m talking about a place that breaks a man’s wits into kindling and moves a woman to deeply consider the nunnery. I speak of a barren waste of space that no right-minded person would willingly go, yet there it remains—thriving and populated to its brim. This place of which I speak could only be…The Friend Zone.

All dramatics aside, The Friend Zone is not a pleasant place to be—despite Ryan Reynolds comedic attempt to convince us otherwise. We have feelings for someone (“liking” them, caring for them, maybe even loving them, etc.), and yet, they refuse to see us as a viable romantic option. They only see us as a friend, and therefore, we’re regulated to an area of their life that is neither hot nor cold. We are thankful to be in their life whatever the role, but it’s not enough to satisfy our wants and needs for something—anything—more.

So, if we are indeed camping out in The Friend Zone while still possessing the hopes and dreams of one day being more, how do we break free from the chains of “friendship” and conquer what we want? In my humblest of opinions (ahh, who am I kidding? I’m awesome), there are only a certain number of ways to remove yourself from such a dastardly position.

Here are a few options:

Tell them how you feel, plainly and with NO room for misinterpretation.
This is a tricky maneuver because if your one true love doesn’t feel the same way, they’ll either blatantly reject you (so very painful. I started crying just thinking about it) or give you an excuse as to why you two can’t be together “right now” (which we covered here)…which only allows false hope to flourish.
On the flip side, this option has the most potential for a brilliant payoff because what if they feel the same way, but think YOU have put THEM in The Friend Zone (you crazy kids!)?! How does this happen? Because we’re all much too good at hiding our feelings these days, and that leads to many, many, many misunderstandings (see: any sitcom and/or romantic comedy from the last 20 years).
If you really care about the person, it’s worth a chance and I say go for it. Godspeed.

Cut off all contact and hope you get over them in a timely manner.
This option is to be utilized only when the fear of rejection outweighs the purported value a relationship would hold. Maybe you don’t feel like putting yourself out there to be hurt that way (I honestly don’t blame you), but you also can’t stand to be stuck in The Friend Zone anymore. If that’s the case, do your best to distance yourself from them and hopefully it won’t take you long to get over this person you were crushing so hard on.

Say nothing and remain were you are.
Some decide that taking what they can get from the person they’re so crazy about is good enough, so they stay where they are—numbing their tongue and carrying on with their befuddled soul. I call this option “The Betty” because of the way Betty Cooper used to pine after Archie even though he was crazy about Veronica (for the record, I’m #teamVeronica on this issue), but never made a move to be something more; she always just took what she could get from him and hoped he’d see the light one day. He didn’t.
This particular option is a tragic thing to watch, but it’s viable all the same. Just don’t ever expect to be fully happy and/or content if you remain in a place where you are left continuously unsatisfied.

While these are just a sampling of actions to take once we’ve been placed in The Friend Zone and wish to break free, it’s important to remember that we choose our own steps in our relationships, as well as in life. If you’re in The Friend Zone and don’t wish to be, do something about it. And remember, if these suggestions don’t work out, that’s what you get for listening—you know what? No…this is DANG good advice and I stand by it proudly.

Carry on!

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