Earlier this week, I wrote about what it takes to get over your ex after a breakup happens. That particular post covered the situation from the standpoint of the person who ended the relationship. Today, I aim to cover what it takes to get over your stinkin’ ex after they break up with you. It’s not an easy process, but it is possible. I am living (read: jaded) proof.

While the suggestions I’m about to lay before you are similar to the previous section of these writings, the motivation and reasoning behind them are specialized and different. Because the pain of being broken up with is more intense than if we were doing the breaking, it’s important to tailor these suggestions to the circumstances. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t have a wee bit of fun with it, right? RIGHT! Tally ho!

Behold, in all their magnificent glory, I give you the top five ways to get over your ex after they’ve broken up with you.

Let’s dance!

Do…Cut off All Communication
As important as this step was in the previous post, it’s even more vital in this situation.
I get that you’re hurting and that you cared about this person, but if you’re truly wanting to get over them, it’s time to go dark (not like wearing all black or anything ‘cause that’s kinda creepy, but dark in the communicational sense). Do not text or call them; delete their number. Do not tweet at them or “like” their status on the Facebook; unfollow and unfriend them.
You may think this is going overboard, but I’m telling you what works. In fact, I’m pretty sure the old saying, “Out of sight, out of mind” was made up because a dude was trying to get over a girl who broke his heart! (it wasn’t)
This step is even MORE important when the ex tries to contact you. Don’t answer them, don’t participate in their games, do not entertain them. If you’re serious about getting over them and moving on with your life, ignore them and keep doing so. It’s worth it, I promise.

Don’t…Immediately Move on to Someone Else
I wish I could say I’ve always followed this rule, but we learn from our mistakes, right?
It’s natural to want to find the comfort in another suitor soon after having been broken up with, but that’s what we call “self-destructive behavior” (same goes for drinking/medicating away the pain). So…don’t. That rarely—if ever—works out for the best.
Take your time and heal from the rejection that found its way into your life. Immediately moving onto someone else does nothing but delay the grieving that WILL need to take place.
Again, you may feel like I’m being overly dramatic, but just remember that I’m speaking from experience here. I’ve run into the arms of a waiting female after being broken up with and it leads nowhere good in the long run.
If all else fails, just lock yourself in your room and develop a wicked case of body odor. That’ll do the trick.

Do…Be Easy on Yourself, but Also Honest
A big part of being broken up with is examining yourself once the relationship has ended. “Why did they break up with me?” “Was it something I did?” “Was it because of them or because of me?” “Does my breath stink?!” This will happen. I can almost guarantee it. Be honest in your inspections, but during this time of self-examination, it’s important to treat yourself kindly. You aren’t stupid or ugly or annoying (I’m assuming…). That person just wasn’t for you and they realized it before you did (that or she was cheating on you with Derrick the football captain again. What a jerk). So there’s no reason to beat yourself up unnecessarily. Learn from it and move on—just like Gaston did when Belle chose the Beast! (Okay…that was a REALLY bad example. My apologies)

Don’t…Try to Win Them Back
I know what you’re thinking. And don’t. Just…don’t. It seems so easy! “If I can just _____, then he/she will want me back. I know it!” I’m sorry to go all Debbie Downer on you, but they broke up with for a reason. They didn’t want to be with you anymore. So why waste your time pining after someone who obviously doesn’t feel the same way? It didn’t work for Joey and Rachel, so it’s probably not going to work for you (yes, I know Joey and Rachel never broke up because they were never together; but Joey liked her and Rachel didn’t end up feeling the same way. DON’T TEST MY KNOWLEDGE OF “FRIENDS”, I WILL END YOU)
Allow yourself to heal and move on.

Do…Let Your Friends Help You Heal
Speaking of friends…
As I mentioned before, being broken up with hurts, so who better to help you heal from the rejection than the people who know you best? Not only will they do their best to make you laugh and feel less sad (if they’re good friends), but they’ll say mean things about your ex that they’ve always thought, but never said. You’ll get to laugh AND hear what they’ve always really thought of your ex. Really, it’s a win win (minus the whole getting your heart broken thing L)

Use these five steps to help you get over your ex and you’ll be back happy and smiling in no time (probably?)! If not, that’s what you get for taking the advice of a guy who may or may not still debate the merits of Belle vs. Princess Jasmine like they’re real women he has a shot with.

Let’s be honest: you should be following me on Twitter. Do it here. Thanks for reading!