Every now and then, I’ll send out a feeler asking what I should write about to the people who follow me on Twitter or are a fan of Mad to Love on Facebook. I did this a couple of weeks ago and received an interesting response from an old friend of mine from Texas. She wanted to know my thoughts or views on people who date someone who is significantly older or younger than themselves. Admittedly, I have only a limited amount of experience in this area, as all but one of my former flames have been within 18 months of my own age—both older and younger. Nevertheless, I began to think on the subject and wondered why age is such a big deal in the first place.

To some, age is but a number that is to be ignored. You have the creepy older men who like women waaaaaay younger than themselves because it makes them feel more vital or alive, I suppose. But then there are also the older women, the “cougars”, who enjoy the company of a much younger man for the same exact reasons. And you know what? Good for them.

To others, age is important and often a deal breaker. I know of men and women who refuse to date someone who is not within a certain range of their own age because they feel they’ll have less in common otherwise. It’s their choice and it is respected.

Regardless, I believe a person’s mental age is far more important than their physical. Why would a young lady enjoy being pursued by a young man who is the same age as she, yet thinks and behaves as if he were still a teenager? I don’t think many do. And the reverse is true as well; a man probably isn’t going to enjoy dating a woman who acts as if she’s a senior citizen when he is still in his roaring twenties (and vice versa, although to each their own, of course). The maturity of a person, the development of their thoughts, behavior, and actions, should far outweigh the importance of their physical age.

No, not everyone will agree with me (I’m used to it these days), but the truth is that we are most at ease when we find compatibility with someone, regardless if they’ve lived the same amount of years as we have (I am in no way suggesting that federal or state age restrictions should be ignored. There is such a thing as too young. This goes for both men and women. Creepers…). So if you want to date someone younger or older and you feel that you’re compatible despite the age difference, I say go for it. It’s your life and you should live it so that you’re happy and fulfilled.(just be careful if you’re a professor wanting to date a student or vice versa. As Ross found out, it’s not just “frowned upon”).

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My debut novel, “These Were the Nights” will be available everywhere this spring.