You may have read the title of this piece and smirked because I’ve mentioned I’m single and have had a number of failed relationships in the past. But the truth is I know how to treat a woman. And because I think treating a woman the right way is something every man should know, I’m sharing my knowledge. Enjoy.
Get to Know Her
It seems simple enough but you’d be surprised (or not) to learn how many dunder-headed men/boys pursue a girl simply because she’s nice on the eyes. Not only is that approach disrespectful to any self-respecting woman, but the beginning that’s built solely on looks has a shaky foundation and usually isn’t long for this world.
Though the task may seem daunting to some, getting to know a lovely young lady is one of life’s many joys. Ask her what she likes, what she doesn’t like (music, food, movies etc.), what she does for fun. Finding things you have in common will not only give you reason to move forward, but it will also give your heart a little kick.
Ask Her Nicely*
Again, this step seems simple enough but films and stories of old have given some guys the moxy to demand a date with a damsel. “Hey, you. Let’s go out” or the like not only makes you seem like the bad guy from a cheesy 80’s movie (Billy Zabka anyone? Didn’t think so), but it also belittles your intended missus as something to be possessed. A woman isn’t to be possessed. She’s to be made a partner and a helpmate. (And ladies, the opposite of this is also true. FYI.)
Simply smiling and asking (respectfully!) if she would like to get together sometime in the near future to learn more about each other a bit better is the way to go. Any girl in any situation will not only appreciate this but will also feel respected. And that, my boy, is our goal here.
If she says yes, fantastic! You’re on your way. If she declines, don’t be disheartened. She’s simply saving you some heartbreak down the line.
(*Yes, it is still your responsibility to ask the girl out. You’re a gentleman and a gentleman would never allow the young lady to make the first move. Again, respect.)
Take Her Somewhere You Can Talk
A first date is awkward enough. You’re nervous, she’s nervous and everyone around you can tell you’re on a first date. (I’m sorry. They can.) So going to a movie or the like will not only make the situation more awkward due to the lack of conversation but it will reduce the desired progression a first date is supposed to produce. Not speaking to each other in a darkened movie theatre defeats your grand purpose of getting to know this lovely lady better.
Try a decent (read: not fancy but not Taco Bell) place to eat that is well lit and won’t make your date fear for her life. Ask her questions about herself and try not to talk about yourself too much. If she wanted a conceited jerk, she’d date John Mayer (Hi-OH!). If you feel the need to prepare these questions beforehand, do so. Just don’t pull out a piece of notebook paper and start reading off questions right there at the table. You may be adorable but even you can’t pull that off.
At the end of the night, no matter how the date has gone, you’re going to want to kiss her. Don’t. Please don’t. Don’t even try. A first date isn’t for kissing. She deserves your respect, so drive her home, walk her to her door and say goodnight respectfully and with a smile. I SWEAR TO YOU that she’ll appreciate this. And when it is time to kiss this wonder of a woman, it’s about when she wants to, not you. I need you to trust me right here: you WILL know when she wants you to kiss her. Women are intelligent beings and though they may be ladylike or possibly nervous, they will let you know one way or the other that it’s time to make your move. But when you do, remember our rule and be respectful. Keep it classy, junior. (You know what I mean…)
Forget that Stupid “Wait Three Days to Call” Rule
Look , it’s an idiotic rule. If you like the girl, call her the next day and tell her you had a good time and would like to do it again soon. Let her accept before you start offering dates for your next rendezvous. Be easy, brother. Once again, if it’s meant to be, it will.
Progressing Your Relationship
Over the next few weeks and months, your time is going to be monopolized, your text messages are going to skyrocket and you’re going to have a big goofy grin on your face. Why? Because you’ve found a girl that’s been worth the wait.
Over this time, you’re going to want to rush things. It’s only human nature and it’s definitely a man’s nature. You’ll have wants and “needs” that you want fulfilled but it’s so very vital you remember that that woman is to be revered and respected. She is a gift from God to you and you treat gifts nicely, yes? This is no different.
Hold her hand and open her doors for her. Send her a text message first thing in the morning so she wakes up with a smile and a feeling that will carry her happily through her day. Pay for every meal and every activity—it’s your responsibility because you are a gentleman; conduct yourself as such.
As your relationship progresses, fight the urge to take her for granted. She’s going to want to buy you stuff and to treat you in a way that thanks you for respecting her as you have. When this happens, it’ll be easy to relax and just “coast” through the relationship. Don’t. A relationship that’s worth having is worth working at. Remember that and it’s unlikely that you’ll go wrong.
As your relationship moves further down the road, it’s easy to expect her to just know how you’re feeling or what kind of mood you’re in. This isn’t okay. Communicate with her, talk with her, and let her know what’s going on with you and how you feel you feel about her — every single day. It’s the right thing to do. A relationship lacking communication is bound for the boonies and the boonies is never a good place. From the beginning to the end, always keep the lines of communication between you and your lady friend wide open.
On the flip side, if you feel like she isn’t doing her best to let you know what’s going on with her, ask her to be more open with you. That’s called, wait for it…communicating! (See how that works?) Talking and discussing situations freely opens so many doors that seem firmly closed for good. And that, dear boy, is a good thing.
In the end, it all comes back to respecting your darling and the woman she is. Support her, be a rock for her, let her know she’s on someone’s mind daily. She’ll appreciate this and that, in turn, will only make your life easier. If you need me to make it simpler for you, all I can give you is this old adage: treat her the way you’d want some bloke to treat your mom or future daughter. If you can’t handle that, you probably shouldn’t be pursuing women in the first place.
(Note: Find me on the Twitter @Cory_Copeland. Thanks once again for reading and reblogging the way you do. You guys are the cat’s pajamas/meow/saucer of cream etc.)